Life can get crazy and hectic, leaving us without much time to catch our breath.
With all the chores, errands, and responsibilities, when is there time to do those things you love?
It becomes easy to put those things on the back burner for when we do have time, but then time never really seems to be right.
Before long you begin to realize that your life is controlling you instead of you controlling it.
Feeling “stuck” in your life is becoming a general feeling that everyone can relate to.
Why? Because everyone has felt stuck at some point or they are feeling stuck now.
Stuck is that feeling of “nothing ever changes,” “I never do anything fun,” “I can afford to make the life changes I want to,” “I’ll never be able to afford to do those things I want,” and the ever-popular “My life is so boring.”
Feeling stuck can lead to unhappiness and depression which can lead to a variety of health problems.
And stuck can be a hard place to get out of because the reason you’re usually feeling stuck is that you don’t know what to do to create change.
I remember feeling this way several years ago.
It was after I had spent almost three years building my cleaning business and paying off the massive amount of debt I had amassed.
After the debt was gone and the business was thriving I realized I was very unhappy with many aspects of my life.
I had been so singled focused that I had let go other important aspects of my life that brought me happiness and now I was unhappy with my life.
Just like I had conquered other obstacles, I felt strangely different trying to dig myself out of this unhappiness hole I had found myself in.
So I did what I do best and decided to research what it would take for me to recreate and design a life I loved?
Here’s what I found out…
While there are necessary responsibilities, like working and collecting a paycheck, a large part of your life is fully in your control, you just don’t realize it.
You can start to make small adjustments to bring more happiness and fulfillment so that you can work toward designing the life you love.
DESIGN A LIFE YOU LOVE
FOCUS ON THE INSIDE
One thing most people seem to have trouble understanding is that happiness and fulfillment rarely come from outside circumstances, they can only come from within.
Winning the lottery would be great and it would probably solve a lot of problems, plus you could buy a new car, and take your family on a dream vacation but it will only bring temporary happiness. After your life settles back down, the new car has lost its new car smell, and the vacation is only a memory, you’re still stuck with the same person you were before. But when you work from the inside out to improve your life, lifelong happiness and fulfillment are sure to follow no matter how much (or how little) money you have.
Decide what matters most to you. What do you really want out of life? What would you really like to do? What are those dreams you tucked away for later? Journal about what really matters to you. Make a list of all the things you want to do and be in your life. You won’t know how to take the first step out of stuck if you don’t know which direction to go in.
In order to know what to do first, you need to get your priorities in order. Prioritize your list to the top 3 or 4 things that mean the most to you or you want to accomplish first. You may not be able to get everything done, but you can certainly accomplish a few of those big dreams. If one of your dreams has several steps to get you there, prioritize those steps. What do you need to first? For instance, if you want to finally write that novel and get it published, the first thing you need to do is prioritize time for writing, researching, and outlining. Then prioritizing time every day or a set time every week to sit down and write, rear end in the chair and no excuses. Whatever the big goals are that you want to work towards, make sure you’re prioritizing the right task, the first one you need to do to make the rest of the plan work.
MAKE A PLAN
Create an action plan for achieving those priorities. What tasks need to be done in order to reach the goal? Who do you need to talk to? Do you need someone else’s help? Write down everything that needs to be done and everyone you have to talk to. Then, make an action plan for getting it done.
Distractions will come, every single day. That’s part of life. Look at the distractions as a test of your willpower. How much do you want your goals? How much do you want to get unstuck? How important are your priorities? Make decisions about how to handle your distractions based on these answers. Stay focused on what matters most.
Do something, even if it’s only a small task, every single day to bring yourself closer to your ultimate goal. And if a distraction is necessary, make sure you reschedule time for your goal. Your kid’s school play may be a priority tonight, but if you’re working on that book, writing extra tomorrow so you can be at your child’s school tonight should also be a priority.
PERFECTION IS OVERRATED
Let go of perfection, it’s only a dream, never a reality. Nothing in your life will ever be absolutely perfect. Not the timing, not the result of your hard work, not the plan to get it all done. Just let it go and accept that whatever you accomplish, as long as you did your best, is enough. Celebrate your accomplishments and reward yourself for your achievements, it will help to build your confidence.
Don’t allow your life to be about waiting for the perfect moment. Waiting for the kids to start school, waiting until you make more money, waiting until your husband gets that promotion so you can stop working, waiting for your kids to be more independent. Your life will constantly be about waiting for something to happen instead of enjoying what you have now.
MEDITATE ON IT
Because we often get caught up in the perfect moment scenario and because just letting go of the illusion of perfection can be difficult, I highly suggest that if you’re one of those women who struggle in this area you just consider how meditating just a few minutes a day can benefit you and help you achieve that life you love.
A simple daily meditation practice has changed my life, and I truly believe it can help anyone.
Meditation, for me, is about carving out a few moments each day to sit quietly, breathe, connect with myself.
Even if it’s just a few moments after I wake up or before I hop into bed at night, this is time free from distraction, free from the roles and responsibilities I identify myself with, free from the complications in life that I might identify as stress. It’s time for just me, to connect with myself and my truth.
Creating a life you love is really about aligning your life with your own core values—those things that are most important to you personally. Regular meditation will help you discover what those are so you can begin to craft the life you want.
Living in the moment and taking action, even if it’s small, towards the things you really want in your life will bring you more happiness and contentment than you’ve known. It will allow you break free of “stuck” and move forward into a place of joy and peace about where you are in your life.
Count your blessings each and every day that you have another day to work toward designing a life you love and get out there and get going!