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We all go through “funks” in our lives. You know those periods of time when you can’t seem to get out of your way when life is bogging you down, and you just feel stuck.
For some people, they’re able to shake off that feeling quickly and keep moving forward. For others, they are literally stuck and can’t seem to make a decision or shake the feeling of dread or doom.
When you find yourself stuck, how do you get unstuck?
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How To Get Unstuck
When I was actively working with clients and coaching through life challenges, the first thing I did with them is to walk them through a series of questions aimed at getting to the heart of the matter.
By doing this, and by answering these five powerful questions, they got unstuck, focused on what mattered most and became more motivated to move forward. See if these questions don’t help you next time you feel stuck in place.
1. Which of my values have I forgotten? Which have I put on the back burner?
When life feels off track, it can usually be traced back to us deserting our values.
When we live our lives based on what we value most, our life has a tendency to be more joyful and fulfilling.
When we don’t, we can eventually start feeling stuck, joyless and at it’s extreme, depressed.
So what do you value most?
Health? Freedom? Honesty? Family?
I remember working with this man who valued family, but he found himself in a job that had him working 80 hours a week. He was miserable because he never saw what he valued most. He eventually left the demands of that job and found employment that was more in line with his values. Overall he found himself happier.
Don’t know what you value? Take my free Values Assessment and see if it doesn’t help you identify what you value most.
Read: How To Handle The Competing Demands of Work and Family
2. If I took a picture of me at my best self, what would I see?
Now that you understand what you value and before you start writing down a slew of goals, make sure you know what you have in mind as the end result?
What’s your vision?
What do you want most out of life?
Think of this question regarding the basics: how do you look, what are you doing, where do you live?
Then go deeper and ask yourself how do you feel, who are you with, what makes you happy?
The answers to these questions make up the image to your endpoint on the roadmap to change.
3. Is this a ‘should’ or a ‘want’?
Most of us think ‘should’ way more than, well, we should.
A ‘should‘ is typically something you think you need to do out of obligation. It’s a toleration, and it doesn’t bring you joy.
A ‘want’ on the other hand is something that you’re just aching to do. Something you’re sure of will fill your heart and soul. It’s the things you desire for your life.
How do you figure out the difference?
Try this little trick. Replace the word ‘should‘ with ‘want‘ and see how it makes you feel.
Should you attend Lou’s going away party or do you want to attend Lou’s going away party?
Should you go to spin class or do you want to go to spin class?
This trick can help you sort through the endless obligations you have and prioritize the things you want to do. The sooner you figure out what you want to do, the sooner you can start living on purpose.
Read: How To Stop Tolerating The Crap In Your Life {And Be Happier}
4. Am I sabotaging my success?
If we fail to make the right decisions that move us forward, we stay stuck, or worse, move backward.
How do we know what the right decision is?
One that aligns with our values adds to our life in a positive way and creates opportunities that are beneficial to us.
If the decisions you make don’t align with your values and the things you care deeply about, you’ll end your chances for success no matter how good an opportunity looks at the moment.
Read: Learning The Art of Saying No
5. How can I be kinder to myself?
Our internal dialogue has a tendency to be harsh, judgmental and at times down right nasty.
If we realized what we said to ourselves, we’d be horrified. Yet our judgemental questioning often sends us into a downward spiral.
Beating yourself up can create more self-loathing that you just continue doing and which you don’t want to do, like eating another piece of pie after you’ve given yourself a tongue lashing for the first piece.
If you want to be kind to yourself, next time when confronted with the realization you didn’t do something that was in your best interest, ask yourself how you can make a better choice next time. Find out what’s bugging you. Dig around and see what you come up with.
By learning to be compassionate to yourself, you’ll be better able to reduce the times you slip up.
Read: Comparison Is The Thief of Joy
Use these five simple questions next time you feel stuck and see if they don’t help you better understand what’s holding you back.
You’ll begin to see a better picture of what’s in store and help you move past whatever has you feeling stuck.
