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Hi, I’m Maureen the founder of A Mess Free Life and The EMBRACE Training Program. I’m so grateful you’re here today because we’re going to be covering some pretty important stuff.
If you’d like a downloadable PDF of this Lesson, go here.
Maybe you’ve been following me for years, or possibly this is your first time you’re getting to know me. Either way, I want to share with you a bit about my story and my personal money journey, and why I believe so much in The EMBRACE Training Program, that I created with you in mind.
Table of Contents
MY STORY
Growing up I was made fun of A LOT. I was different from most of my classmates.
For one, I was adopted, and I struggled with my self-worth and value. I never felt like I fit in or belonged anywhere.
Second, I grew up poor and often felt deprived.
As I grew up and started making my own money, I quickly equated money with value. I saw that people with money dressed nicer, had better homes, drove nicer cars and it appeared they were liked by everyone.
So, I started this journey of making money and spending all I had to look nicer so I could fit in. Everything I did was to present myself in a certain way, but I felt a huge emptiness. My behavior quickly escalated out of control, and I found myself obtaining credit cards so I could buy what I needed to fill the void I had inside.
Slowly my financial situation grew increasingly more complicated and messed up.
I believed with all my heart that if I could just fix my financial issues, I could have more peace and joy in my life.
I already knew I lacked the willpower gene, I knew I struggled with sticking to a budget, and so I started to worry that my perfect life was totally out of reach.
By the time I reached 40 things were pretty bad.
I would go through these cycles where I would go on a shopping binge and then restrict my spending completely. I would cut up my credit cards to keep them safe or freeze them in blocks of ice.
You know what I’m talking about. You just try something – anything to stop the overspending, shame, and guilt. You want to find that magic bullet that’s going to totally change your life.
Just before my 41st birthday, when I was supposed to be having the time of my life, I found myself suddenly unemployed. My once good job with a great income was now gone! The worst part of it all was that I had nothing in savings – not a penny. Instead, I had over 50K of credit card debt. Debt I had incurred because I couldn’t control my shopping habits.
Instead of saving money I was busy pursuing the malls spending money on all the best designer clothes, shoes, purses and more. I had so many clothes in my closet I had to move clothes around during the seasons because they didn’t all fit in my huge walk-in.
On top of that, I had a child in college, 28K in student loan debt, and parents that were semi-dependent on me financially.
I was single, and so there wasn’t a prince charming around who could swoop in and rescue me from my bleak situation nor was there one on the horizon.
It was just me, shouldered with this enormous responsibility to my family and myself.
But I had been reckless, and now this recklessness was coming back to bite me in the ass. And, oh how that bite hurt.
It was a wake-up call for sure but not the wake-up call you would have thought it would have been.
My come to Jesus moment was the day I received the foreclosure notice on my home.
At that moment, I felt embarrassed and broken. And it was then that I realized something was very wrong and that if this budgeting thing was going to work, it would have worked by now.
I had been desperately trying to live on a budget for my whole life, and it wasn’t working, and so I decided to quit budgeting altogether.
From there I decided to dig deep – real deep.
What was my issue?
I was miserable, not because I was broke but because my life sucked.
- I hated my previous job and didn’t know what I wanted to do for work.
- I had no meaningful love relationship in my life.
- My friends were not the kind of friends that loved and supported me in the way I needed.
- Most of the people in my life were in the same boat as me and fueled this bigger, better, best mentality.
- I wasn’t taking care of me – everyone was put first and my needs were always on the back burner.
- All the items I spent money on in the long run did nothing to make me happier, they only added to my unhappiness.
From there I started learning all I needed to learn about money and my relationship with it. But I also decided to do things for myself and started taking better care of me.
This included doing more photography, archery, reading, writing, yoga, and other things aimed at improving my life. I found some new friends too!
Over time I started to realize that I was filled up and happy with my life and wasn’t shopping or feeling the need to shop.
I didn’t need shopping for:
- Entertainment
- Connection
- Or to heal the loneliness and disconnection I had felt in my heart.
It was amazing.
I had thought that what I needed to do was to get my budget under control and I’d find happiness and instead what I learned was it’s actually the other way around.
I needed to first tend to my life and learn to love and accept myself just the way I am. Eventually loving myself helped to heal my emotional spending and over time I stopped overspending and participating in shopping binges.
This was an amazing discovery for me because I realized it doesn’t have to be so hard and it doesn’t have to be so painful.
Now, I’m so excited to work with you I really believe there is a space for EVERY woman who suffers from emotional spending to learn to love their money, to take care of themselves and to create a joy-filled life.
Maybe this is the first time you’re dealing with your emotional spending, maybe you’ve tried in the past and didn’t get the results you hoped for. We all come to this place at different times in our lives.
When we’re in this place of deep embarrassment, and feeling depressed and miserable and alone in our struggle it really prevents us from creating and living the life that you’re meant to live.
There’s a lot at stake when we’re caught in this cycle of hating our financial situation and not living the life we were meant to live. And, during this series, I want to help you to get out of this struggle and out of the debt noose that’s around your neck so you can have the life you were meant to live.
LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT EMBRACE
So let me tell you about The EMBRACE Training Program and why it’s completely different than anything you’ve tried before.
The EMBRACE Training Program is not a budget, and it’s not a quick fix.
Most budgeting programs tell you that if you can just plug in the numbers, get your food budget under control, stop overspending, use cash, and create a system that fixes all the ways in which you mess up with your money each month, then you’ll have a perfect life, and you can just move on from there.
We are sort of shamed with the idea that if I just suffer this budget and then follow it to the letter, with all it’s restrictions, eventually I’ll have the life I dreamed of and I’ll never get off track again, won’t hit up the mall when I’m depressed, won’t buy too many shoes I don’t need, etc, etc, etc.
I mean how many times have you said this to yourself?
We have this belief we need to suffer to get to our end game.
But we’ve all seen how this doesn’t work. Sure it might work for some people, but it didn’t work for me, and I’m guessing that because you’re here, it didn’t work for you either.
There’s nothing wrong with you~!
Most money plans – whether it’s a budget boot camp, spending freeze, or all cash lifestyle- don’t address the core problem for why you’re overspending. They have you believe that if you just follow your budget, you will be fine.
BUT IT’S NOT TRUE BECAUSE IT’S NOT FEASIBLE.
The EMBRACE Training Program is about doing it differently. It’s about getting underneath why you overspend.
It’s about helping you really understand
- why you’re going on yet another shopping spree
- why your closet is stuffed to the max, but you still want more
- why are you going for a quick hit on the internet
In The EMBRACE Training Program, we address the seven key areas to help you discover why you overspend.
In this series, we’ll walk you through the seven areas and teach you some key strategies you can implement right now to help you to start changing your relationship with money and stop overspending.
The first series, the one you’re reading or listening to – we’ll address your money story.
UNCOVER YOUR MONEY STORY
Whether you like it or not, your childhood experiences determined how much money and success you feel you are capable of as an adult.
Were you someone whose parents struggled with money and now you have a scarcity mindset when money is involved? Or were you given an endless supply of the things you wanted, including money?
Whatever your situation was, you were learning from it the moment you were born. Our parents, relatives, and friends were your most consistent teachers.
Subconsciously, you took on their actions and created your own money story.
Luckily, you’re not your inherited habits. You’re a free-thinking human being, and you can take charge of your actions. You are the decider of your fate; if you want a life a filled with abundance, you can take meaningful steps towards that daily.
EMBRACE LIFESTYLE JOURNAL
Sit back and think about your parents, grandparents and other significant people in your life that taught you about money. What were some of the things they said and did?
Write it out here or use our FREE Journal Page found here.
How did what they said now shows up in your relationship with money?
How does it impact how much you earn?
How does it impact how much you save?
How does it impact how you spend money?
What in this story you received are you ready let go of?
Write out your thoughts and start examining this story and identify what doesn’t work for you anymore.
So your first action step is to complete the journal questions and send me an email and tell me about what it was like and how it’s affecting how you look at money.
Second, if you’re so moved, please share your personal journey in the comments below.
Our next lesson, we’ll be discussing our money mindset! It’s going to be great!
I hope you’ll check back. Until then I hope you have a wonderful day!
