Welcome to Day 17 of 100 Days of Debt Free DIY Holiday Ideas. We’re bringing you the best from around the web in frugal and money saving holiday ideas you can do yourself. Gifts, recipes, decorating ideas and projects that are simple and easy to do and make as well as money and budgeting strategies to help you stay on budget and not overspend this holiday season.
The countdown continues with today’s post about money and fear-based spending.
Kick Fear Based Shopping To The Curb This Holiday Season
What exactly is fear based spending? Fear based spending is your personal trigger that gets you to buy more than you should.
For some that personal trigger is the fear they won’t be loved. Yet for some, it’s the fear they won’t look important. No matter what fear triggers your overspending, the sooner you can figure it out, the better off you will be at winning the overspending battle.
To learn more about what might be triggering you, go here.
With the right planning, tools, and strategies, you can go into and come out of the holidays without incurring any debt.
It might be a tighter, slimmer holiday, but that’s ok.
What’s worse, less under the tree or more on the credit card statement?
I can tell you from personal experience, choosing less under the tree allows you to focus on more than just what to buy. You now have the time to focus on relationships, friendships and doing things that cultivate the love and care you have for others.
In keeping with the goal of a debt-free holiday season and preventing you from getting caught up in the buying frenzy, we’re going to kick our fear-based spending habits to the curb and manage our resources better, so we stay debt free!
What Are You Afraid Of If You Don’t Spend Like Crazy?
Boy, do I remember vividly the day I had to tell my daughter I didn’t have the money to have the usual Christmas. Our “normal” consisted of my daughter giving me a list of things she just “had to have” and me going out and getting her all of it. You read it right, ALL OF IT!
There was a time when I would look at those photos and feel sick. Thank goodness I can see them now and not feel those same feelings of dread, despair, and nausea.
So when I started to delve into my money habits, fears, beliefs, and mindsets, I knew I had to answer the biggest question of them all: “What am I afraid of if I don’t spend like crazy?”
Fear motivates us to do all sorts of things. In this case, fear was driving my need to shop my life away. But in the beginning, I wasn’t sure what I was afraid of. It took some time and digging before the fear revealed the truth of the situation.
Our concerns are motivated by underlying needs. Maybe you overspend because you have an underlying need to be loved. Or, maybe your shopping fills the need to gain status or recognition. No matter what the primary need, trust me, there is one to your over shopping and spending.
Now is the time to evaluate it and determine, “what need am I trying to fill?”
This part of the process takes some real self-reflection because at first, the need may not be very clear to you or possibly you may feel like you have competing needs that must be fulfilled.
This exercise isn’t for the faint of heart. This type of self-reflection pushes us past our feeling of complacency and moves us forward towards the life we want. The alternative is to be stuck in the same place, with the same fears for the rest of our lives. If that’s what you want, then heck, don’t bother reading anymore and go out and keep on spending, feeling guilty, and being in debt.
Here’s my suggestion: get out a notebook and pen and write our your thoughts and feelings about money and spending. Review it from time to time and see if you can identify a pattern in your mind.
More than likely you will start to see a clear picture of where you have been deluding yourself, and the actions steps may clearly begin to form in your mind.
Once you’ve identified what you’re afraid of, find a way to fill that need in another way that doesn’t include shopping or going into debt.
For me, my underlying need was to feel loved. I was afraid not to shop for fear I would lose my daughters love.
But ultimately I shopped because I didn’t love myself enough. Shopping made up for the lack of love I felt towards myself.
But My Kids Love Me
Of course, they do and so does my daughter but remember your need to over shop is tied to making sure they keep loving you, or that you always seem worthy in their eyes.
Sometimes it doesn’t make sense on the surface, but deep down inside it’s entirely clear.
Remember this when you’re out shopping this holiday and try to remember to keep your spending under control. Love yourself enough not to get into any extraordinary debt just to put a bunch of stuff nobody will even remember ten years from now.
Instead, fill your holiday with long lasting memories created from the time spent together and the feeling it evokes.